My last wishes include an eye-catching stone

Halyna Hutchins’ husband Matt posted a heartfelt tribute to her on his headstone:

On January 2nd, Halyna Hutchins died from pancreatic cancer. Her last words to us, were “I love you.” She was quiet and shy, and didn’t expect much in life. The teddy bear at her funeral, has been referred to as her shadow, a symbol of her unconditional love for you. My wife did not make the second column of her headstone, so as not to say too much, without giving you a time, as to go one step further or go completely off topic. She left a beautiful blue cross with a rhinestone ring at the top, her last gift to me. There are a total of 20 lines on this stone. One hour a day, every day until she died, were spent on it. “Today I am a woman,” read one line. “Today I am free of cancer”. It was a twenty one hour process to move around and lightly cut holes to put in six things and then cover it in roses, to cover the line with blue cement and pray, as part of the memorial service. After Halyna died, the mother made a grieving cross for me, and I have to say, in spite of the crying, I love this cross. It may be a plastic tube, but when I looked down at this cross, I felt connected to my mom, when I was eight-years-old, she went through a tough time, and she put a heavy pink flower and a dark rose behind her, and it made her feel connected to her mother. We made it a summer. It’s going to stay. On January 30th, 2019, Matt and I will celebrate our eight year wedding anniversary. On this day, after we will hang a blue rope on Halyna’s cross, and we will say our vows again. Then, we will go to New England and have a nice camp-out, and hang out the night before we go. So, to my fellow Writers of the world, the people who publish articles, blog posts, book titles, sometimes give out scholarships… Oh please, wherever you are, write a beautiful piece. We want to hear it, so that others will benefit and a legacy will live on. No one is forgotten, and each one deserves a beautiful place on their grave, a nice post, some flattery and respect, some compassionate words. Happy Christmas! -Matt Hutchins

A couple of months ago on this blog, I asked if it was possible to buy a life-sized sculpted Damien Hirst headstone. I made a list of five cities to choose from, including the waiting list for one in London, Scotland and America.

I’m not sure why but my online comments postmarked the night before the UK-wide midnight Sun attack did not actually get me anywhere.

On the bright side, there were a few people that tried, apparently for slightly different reasons.

Here is what Matt Hutchins had to say about being asked to buy a headstone to celebrate his wife’s life:

She was extremely loving. Like a strong Asian woman. Maybe a little prideful. Very hard-working. Trying to live as good a life as possible. Always on her feet, working. Getting up early, getting home late. Being creative. Both of us loved to read. Sharing jokes with one another. Story telling. Hopefully she will find the words in her head and if she can’t, she’ll say it to us. Whenever we say a hard thing, she’d tell me, “make it funny.” I can find a poem or a story. A music video she wrote. There was just a lot of laughter in her heart. I took that part of her. Unfortunately, there was a part of her that didn’t quite thrive in life, so I am happy to see her happy. I have no regrets. One of the few things I do regret is not giving her more years. The irony of it is that the reason I moved up so fast, was because we’d made plans for marriage. We moved up so fast so that we could have babies and start a family. However, when she said, “We’re not having any more babies”, it kind of threw me off. I thought, “Ok, now we’re going to go get married, don’t we?”. She actually made me feel guilty because she said, “Matt, please.” I knew that she wanted more kids… Something about babies… A spoonful of sugar. Sad.

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